Starting Over… Again…

I have been blogging for years. I started blogging about six years ago when I found my then fiancee had received accompanied orders for us to go to Japan. Like many MilSOs (Military Spouses or Military Significant Other), I thought I would start a blog to keep family up to date on our travels, daily life, etc without having to keep telling the same thing over and over again. What I hadn’t expected was that actual strangers would be interested in my life.

All of a sudden I had a small following of a few thousand people. I tried to crash learn how to blog and thought I knew what I was doing (spoiler alert- I didn’t). Even though I was floundering my way through blogging, I kept trying to reinvent myself to fit what niche I should thought I should be. Three years into this blogging adventure, my husband received orders for recruiting duty in Illinois. At the time I was trying to be a travel blogger. I knew I needed a new niche because there isn’t much traveling to be done on recruiting duty or in Illinois. So I went with the topic that intrigued people the most when they meet me- the paranormal. Thus came the birth of Paranormal Housewife.

While I do have a background in paranormal investigations and I have trained teams/ individuals how to ethically ghost hunt, I honestly felt a little bit like a fraud half the time. No one can really be an expert in the paranormal but I knew I had to have the confidence of an expert to get noticed. I know how to debunk most basic stuff either from experience in paranormal investigations or from being a photographer but I couldn’t tell you the uses of high-tech tools that are popular right now in the paranormal world. When it comes to working with spirits, in person I am great. I can usually make a connection with them and figure out what they need or want. Much to the displeasure of some of my readers and producers that reached out to me for potential television shows, I am not a psychic or a medium, nor am I someone that reacts with shrieks and exaggerated facial expressions. If something happens while on an investigation, I react calmly and probably pretty boringly because I don’t want to scare off the spirit or disturb the area around me too much in case there something natural causing the event.

For the past three years, I tried to blog and make Youtube videos in this niche. I would do well for a few months before feeling burnt out. Although at the time I didn’t realize that it was burnout. I just thought I was struggling with writer’s block. I couldn’t figure out how to have authentic content that was regular when I didn’t have time for hours upon hours for research, writing, editing, etc.. I haven’t written anything for almost six months. I was uninspired and couldn’t decide what to focus on when I sat down to write.

My attempt at a thumbnail for my first YouTube video.

When I started the YouTube channel, again I struggled to come up with content. I had more fun doing day-in-the-life-type videos and update videos about our ghosts but I struggled with being comfortable with on-purpose niche videos. I felt like I was supposed to be acting a part but no one gave me the lines. This past week I had been experimenting with doing vlog-type videos for my YouTube channel. I absolutely loved doing them and had so much fun during the whole process but since they were so different from the rest of my videos, the views tanked.

It wasn’t until this past weekend when I was watching TikToks that I realized what I have been feeling was burnout and that it was from trying to consistently trying to fit myself into the niche I thought others wanted me to fit. Yes, I love the paranormal but I was tired of making it 100% percent my life. I also realized that I had gotten so far away from what caused me to want to start blogging so many years ago. I started blogging to share my life, adventures, and thoughts. Not for money or fame. Just so people could feel connected to what was going on with me even if they couldn’t be there.

So I am starting over again. This time I am just sticking to what I want to write about. I’m doing this for me. If someone stumbles across this and enjoys it, great. If I am just sending these words out into the great wide web with no views, I’m okay with that as well. At least I am being true to myself. I am also going to start a vlog channel. I loved making the last few videos. They probably won’t be seen by anyone other than my family, but I will be able to watch old memories over again with my husband or our future kids (if we ever have some). For the first time in a while, I feel relaxed and inspired at the same time. I don’t feel pressured anymore. I want to do this and I’m actually excited about it.

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